Last Thing I Needed (First Thing This Morning)

I'm borrowing the title of a great Willie Nelson song as the theme for this posting because it fits: The last thing I needed (first thing this morning) was spending time in torpid humidity repairing a ripped awning as sweat dripped into my eyes and red ants chewed at my ankles like kids going after candy. It's not the best way to start a day.

The awning on our old RV Howie (House On Wheels Is Excellent) is the original from when Howie was built 25 years ago. I'm amazed it has lasted this long. There were a few minor holes, but overall it has served us well over the past year. It's been battered around by winds in Upstate New York and Southern Indiana, survived the snows in Taylors, SC last winter and has been exposed to the blistering sun here in Florida. It's been a lot of places in its life and times, but its days, woefully, are now numbered.

I went to bed early last night with no worries about heavy rains because I had (as usual) checked the radar constantly throughout the day. We had a few scattered showers around the area, but nothing of serious concern and every prediction was for clear skies overnight. The awning was not slanted as much as it is during heavy rains, but there was no reason to think it should be. Wrong! Once again, those professional prognosticators of weather patterns got it wrong, wrong, wrong. I really can't blame them down here. After all, it is the sub-tropics and heavy downpours develop as swiftly as flies descend on molasses. But an undisturbed sleep would have been nice.

At about 10 P.M. I half-awakened to hear heavy rain pelting the roof. I slightly remember thinking about how much the awning was slanted, but quickly fell back into a deep sleep. Then, sure enough, I was fully jolted out of sleep by a loud, crashing sound outside and knew something big was amiss. Just then Deb came running into the bedroom, shook my leg and said, "Lane, get up. The awning just came down."

When the awning has taken on heavy rains before, one of the sliding support arms has simply collapsed and expelled the runoff. Not this time. I got to the door to find it blocked by the awning and the roller-bar tilted completely to the ground. After pushing our way outside, Deb and I stepped into driving rain and heavy winds. (Cue theme song from Indiana Jones and the Temple Of Doom.) Both support arms were slated about twenty degrees off-center and there was a rip across the front of the vinyl canvass causing it to flap in the wind. We quickly grabbed each side and rolled the awning up until I could get one side secured enough for the night. It took us about ten minutes to complete the task and by the time we were done we were both soaked to the bone.

Needless to say, first thing this morning, we stepped outside into 95 percent humidity to assess the damage. Surprisingly it was not as bad as it could have been. The roller-bar still works and all of the other hardware is still intact. The rip in the canvass was the worst of the damage. It was a clean tear along one of the stitch-lines at the roller-bar area that extended half-way across. Bad, but fixable until another canvass can be found.

The one thing I'm good at is executing a McGuyver; which by definition is any person who handily uses everyday objects to find a way out of an unusual situation. (Reference TV show.) So, having large safety-pins on hand, I slowly reattached the tear to the remaining pleat while Deb supported the roll-bar as she also got chewed on by those cursed ants. A fun times was not had by all, yet it worked well enough. We can no longer extended the awning to its full length, but at least we'll have shade for now.

Ah, well. Another reality of the full-time RV lifestyle.

Other than that, it's been quiet around here at Kelly's RV Park in White Springs, FL since my last posting. The weather has been hot and everyone seems to be already into the summer doldrums. There's just not much going on, so we basically concentrate on staying cool. We had a nice gathering on the 4th when the owners provided hamburgers and sausages, while everyone else brought a side dish. It was good food and good conversations. What more can you ask for on a day of celebration.

copyright 2009-2010 Lane A Geyer
photos by Deb

Local Color

During our travels we always try to find local newspapers to get a better feeling for the areas in which we stay. Many of them have provided insights into regional norms we would not have known otherwise and, in a few cases, brought us a lot of laughs.

While shopping last week in White Springs we picked up a copy of the Lake City News Advertiser; a free weekly offering classified ads from throughout the greater Suwannee Valley area.

The Suwannee Valley runs approximately from Live Oak, which is 20 miles to our West, to the general area of Lake City located 12 miles to our East. This part of Florida is still very rural, very agricultural and a popular destination for hunters and fishermen. Given the largely undeveloped nature of the local land, we weren't surprised to find a lot of ads offering services for bush-hogging, tree trimming, land clearing, culvert placements and trenching. However, there we some that made us say, "Well, that's something you don't see everywhere".

Here are a few of them:

- For whatever reason, there are numerous ads offering M-16 Bayonets with scabbard for $35 or 10 for $300.

- This is one of the only places where we have seen an ad offering a Male Donkey for $200 or will trade for Jenny or mare.

- Fresh or smoked Mullet can be easily purchased with a 2 lbs. minimum order.

- Many ads are seeking help for a petition drive to stop Columbia County from forcing residents to connect to electrical utilities. The county passed a resolution on the matter earlier this year. It appears there are hundreds of residents who feel they just don't need electricity and, most importantly, find the resolution to be another example of governmental interference on private properties. (So far, they have collected over 3,000 signatures.)

- This is also a good area to find wild hogs; all sizes and willing to make a deal on prices.

- Of the many people offering to haul away scrap-metal of any kind at no charge, the most clever is someone who advertises in bold letters I Buy Rust. This one caught my attention because my immediate thought was that if there's a local market for rust, it would be a quick way to make easy money.

- On the flip side of clever advertising, I had to wonder about the tree service called Hazardous Tree Trimming. I hope they're referring to removing rotted or dead trees endangering buildings and not to the possible mishaps in their work. I'd strongly suggest they rename the company.

- The one that really caught our attention was a very large ad promoting a fundraiser called Undies For Sundaes being held this coming Saturday at a Lutheran church in Lake City. It features a drawing of various types of underwear hanging on a clothesline and promotes a "FREE Ice Cream Sundae for One New Pair of Undies!" The weird thing is that nowhere in the ad does it say what the undies will be used for. I'm hoping it's a charity drive to help needy families, but if it's not that's one strange sect I want to stay away from.

copyright 2009-2010 Lane A Geyer
photos by Deb